Hostel Hellmate in Dubrovnik

view from the hostel

Arrived in Dubrovnik, Croatia after a long and scenic coastal bus ride from Montenegro.  Despite being just fifty-six miles apart, it took almost four hours because of the border crossing.  Regardless, it’s all a part of the sport of backpacking.  Just embrace the experience and one can vaporize the unnecessary stress. 

What you can’t vaporize, are the Disney like crowds in Dubrovnik!  Summertime, cruise ships, yacht week hooligans, bachelor parties, Game of Thrones and Star War fans are just some of the reasons so many people descend on this famed medieval walled city.  Its popularity has never waned and I have to confess, I only came here so I could at least say I’ve been to Dubrovnik.  It’s about mid-way between Kotor, Montenegro and Mostar, Bosnia.  I initially wanted to go directly to Mostar, a little more than a hundred miles apart, but it would have required me three border crossings and at least ten hours to make the trip. So, I figured a pit stop in Dubrovnik for a day and night would be a good excuse to see what all the buzz is.

Because Dubrovnik’s is one of the hottest holiday spots in Europe, the prices are ridiculously high.  Accommodations were hard to find last minute, and if you did, you can expect to pay at least five time more than what I had been paying elsewhere in the Balkans.  Based on experience, the more popular a hostel is in touristy cities, then the more likely it’s gonna be at the expense of a clean bathroom.  Nothing more off-putting than a nasty bathroom, so I decided to go with a place outside of the old town with less crowds, more comfort, and less dollars. 

Low and behold, I found just what I was looking for with an upscale hostel with a beautiful view of the surrounding sea and mountains about an hour walk from the old city.  The fish eyed photos looked beautifully deceiving.  I checked in around noon and was anxious to get out of the heat and relax a few minutes on my bunk before heading out.  After all, I had been on a hot ass bus for four hours. 

Upon entering the dorm room, I walk in on another backpacker, wearing only his underwear, sweating profusely, despite the air condition blasting arctic freeze, because he was doing pushups like a maniac on the floor.  The room was the size of a closet with four bunks tightly packed in.  Backpacks, shoes, and clothes scattered around with no regard.  And this dude doesn’t even stop to acknowledge I just walked in.  It was like we shared two different times but the same space.  I forcefully said, “what’s up?” in an attempt to mark a spot.  He mumbles back , “sorry, don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t like to talk when I’m working out, give me ten more minutes.”  

Say what?!  I’m just dumbfounded at this point.  Sorry, I don’t have ten minutes for you to fit me in to your schedule.  Cheap ass mofo with no regard to communal spaces.  These travelers are becoming more and more common on the backpacker scene.  Their profile is as follows.  They are usually experienced backpackers, who usually had quit their job and living off their savings until the wheels fall off.  Emo façade. Penny pinchers to a fault.  Fun suckers always. They eat the cheapest food possible.  We’re talking plain crackers with peanut butter if they fancy.  They refuse to leave the hostel because they can’t afford to doing anything or they’re allergic to the sun.  Antisocial, so, glued to the hostel Wi-Fi, playing video games, watching movies, or constantly connecting with their life back home through Skype, Facebook, or Instagram.  Ironically, this is how they “find” themselves. 

I didn’t stay the ten minutes to finally meet Underwear Man.  I bounced and headed for the old town to make the most of my time in Dubrovnik.  And each and every time I returned to the room, Underwear Man was laying in his bottom bunk in his underwear, AC blasting, with his smartphone in hand.  At least he was considerate enough to wear ear plugs.  Mixed with this awful hellmate experience were piles of unwashed clothes and nasty ass bathroom.  I have to say, after ten years of backpacking like this, I’m beginning to feel a strong desire for a lot more privacy where I sleep.  Underwear Man, thank you, wherever you are.

without the hellmate

On a positive note, I did end up meeting two very cool Americans in their thirties in the hostel.  We all ended up exploring the Dubrovnik nightlife together.  I enjoy backpackers who actually have some money to actually go out, and make the most of their backpacking experience.  Mediterranean dining, Rakia, and a night of dancing was the best way to pass the short time I had in Dubrovnik.